Source:Park-bulging/content
FRIDAY, July 3.
"Here's where there is the greatest Fourth of July in the world, but for years the mistake has been made of holding it in the wrong park. If you want to have a real old-fashioned patriotic celebration go to Snyder's park. It is the home of patriotism and a reservoir of loyalty that has no leaks, which can't be said of all reservoirs in this community.
"Pass up Schenley park and go to Snyder's. If you haven't got a nickel, walk; it's only out at Thirtieth street, and the cleanest spot in the city. That park is a dream; a regular nightmare. It is cooled by the breezes that blow from the delightful island of Herrs, where the merry porker is rendered into cracklings and the lean cow is fashioned into bologna," said the Green Goods Man as he handled a box of giant firecrackers with great care.
"One of the advantages of Snyder's park is that you can't leave it from any side without colliding with the front or rear door of a saloon where the German inspiration of patriotism can be secured at 5 cents per schooner. At Schenley you will have to walk a mile in a hot sun to get flat beer or a Plymouth highball.
"At Snyder's park if you tire of the pleasures which greet you on all sides, you can crawl into one of the big open-face joints of pipe and take a snooze. These unmattressed beds were placed in the park by the city authorities. It's much better to sleep in a big flat pipe than to sleep on the damp ground in Panther hollow and contract the rheumatism.
"Everything in the park is free; even the goats. You are permitted to associate with the goats, but don't get too friendly. Keep your eye on 'em. They are liable to mix up with you when you aren't looking.
"If you want a busy Fourth,
A patriotic lark,
Shin right out Penn avenue
To Snyder's freakish park.
There'll be no bands or speeches,
Or fakirs with balloons,
But there'll be some real fireworks,
Supplied by the saloons."
