Source:Danver-1951/content
Cocktails Anonymous
THE cocktail party season finds Vince Drayne, the ad man, and his wife, Mary, in a sober predicament. They got an invitation to somebody's binge, but it doesn't say who, where or when. They don't indulge anyway, but they'd like to know whom to thank.
"Maybe," Fred Dabney, one of Mr. Drayne's office associates, suggested helpfully, "they left the whole thing blank because you don't drink." But this got Vince nowhere, so he sat down and composed an amusing circular addressed to his co-workers.
After explaining things he concluded: "Are you having a cocktail party? Or would you like to borrow the Draynes' blank invitation so you can crash any parties you hear about?" So far there have been no takers. And no word from Cocktails Anonymous.
★ ★ ★
Tired Santa
Santa Claus, whom I know personally, phoned on Christmas Day to report wearily that he had made a call the night before at a party where there were 2,000 kids. He sighed: "Boy, am I tired! For five hours they sicced those little monsters on me."
★ ★ ★
Panic Way
Mait Wilson of Indiana (Pa.) writes: "I was surprised to read that the name of the alley between the Carnegie Building and the Frick Annex is 'Resort Way.' I built those foot bridges over it for the steel company—the last one about 1941—and when I took out the permit at the city's office the name was Panic Way. We all got a kick out of that name." No wonder—bridging a Panic.
★ ★ ★
Memory Lane
A street-walking stunt some years ago led to many aptly named byways. For instance, Toboggan Way on the Northside, practically straight up and down. And Zero Way on Schenley Heights, which was visited one February afternoon and proved to be just that.
★ ★ ★
Wisps from the Stacks
Helen James, pretty Dormont accordionist, and Ralph Cargo, Wilkinsburg auto dealer, have a date to get married Saturday. . . . They'll go on a four-week honeymoon trip to Florida and Havana. . . . The centerpiece on the Christmas dinner table at Dr. Albert Winters' home in Mt. Lebanon was the same that won daughter Nancy the grand prize in a table-decorating contest. . . . George A. Peterson, veteran clerk at the Federal Reserve Bank, became a grandfather last week. . . . It's a boy for his daughter Emma and her husband, Kenneth O. Graves, Jr. He'll be Kenneth III. . . .
★ ★ ★
Silver Lining
Postcard from Old Constant Reader: "Will the two-cent postcard reduce the number of tips you get?" I dunno, but it'll probably reduce the number of complaints. Some of the readers seem to think a penny is enough to spend to tell the jerk where to get off.
