Source:Danver-1937/content
Crooked Way and Other Streets.
Pittsburgh has a Fore street and a Golf avenue. There's a Card lane and an Ace way, a King avenue, a Queen street and a Jack way. (Oh, yes—and Riffle way.) Your correspondent looked hopefully for a Deuces Wild way, but with his usual luck. It's too bad when a guy can't even find a deuce on the map!
The burg is punctuated by an Asterisk way, a Hyphen way, and a Dot way. There's a Crooked way on Mt. Washington, but the Northside boasts an Old Honesty street. The names of the avenues and streets aren't so funny, but the gent who tagged the alleys certainly went to town. For instance, Charley way.
Caruso way and Highnote way seem to go together. Also Aquatic way and Canoe way. To say nothing of Cake way and Fudge way. Then you'll find a Back way, a Front way, a Rear way and a Side way. (I know this is silly, but it's a living!) And the official namer came pretty close when he christened a Southside alley Milka way.
There's an Appian way, of course. And a Conductor way and a Fireman way. There's a Fred way, too—the Sewickley steamboat captain and author might like to know. And Pittsburghers, if they care to, can take Relief way or Reno way. Or Telephone way. And by the way—this is making me screwy—I can't help wondering if there's any concrete in Abstract street!
If you're still there, Pa Pitt's village has a Private way and a Quick way, a Halfway way and a Mid way, a Path way and a Nice way. Oh, yes—and a Way way, of all things! And that's about all on street directories for today. Your columnist will be—there really is one—On way!
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Oh!
On the bulletin board in front of the Third United Presbyterian church, Shady avenue and Northumberland street, recently: "Trust in God. Dr. Gibson Will Preach."
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Actor's Lament.
Elmer Maier went to Aliquippa recently to give his impersonations. The show had been widely advertised and he was disappointed when only 35 customers showed up. When he returned home he found Mrs. Maier working a crossword puzzle.
"What's a three-letter word for second-rate actor?" she asked.
"Just what your husband is," he answered dejectedly—"'ham'!"
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Things To Come.
"Charley McCarthy" has stimulated the second-hand wig business, it seems. One Pittsburgh theatrical costumer got rid of 25 recently. To be put on ventriloquists' dummies!
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Good Samaritan.
Joe Tweedle is a janitor at the Board of Education building and is well known for his bigheartedness. While on his lunch hour the other day he noticed four youngsters trying to put a tire on a dilapidated auto in front of the building. They were having a time of it and he went out and gave them a lift. When the tire was in place they thanked him and drove away.
Later on when Mr. Tweedle went to get his own auto he found a tire missing. He had helped the kids get away with one of his own tires!
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Fresh Twist, Huh?
Odd Sights Department: A Liberty avenue fruit store proprietor going outside in the late afternoon, when traffic had settled down, and dusting off the pretzels with a feather duster.
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Scraps from a Notebook.
James K. Yohe, popular parade marshal of Monongahela City, is a patient in the Veterans' Hospital at Aspinwall. . . . Aviator Al Hamburg's favorite passenger is pretty Muriel Caldwell, vocalist with Bob Clayman's orchestra. . . . William Rimmel of the staff is happy over the arrival of a baby boy at his house yesterday. . . . Jess Willard, ex-heavyweight champ, is doing the town's night spots again. . . . This is the twelfth week for Jackie Jenkins, popular night club entertainer, at the Wa-Lin Order. . . . The Fort Pitt Hotel staff raised $400 at their recent picnic for the benefit of one of the elevator operators, a patient at Leech Farm. . . . Two Pittsburgh lads with Art Kassel's band at Kennywood have dropped their stage names rather than have their friends think them high hat. They are Billy Leech, who has been known as Billy Lee, and John Duffy, billed formerly as Jack Gerard. . . . Attorney Harold Obernauer acquired a terrific tan at Crystal Beach, Canada. . . . Dr. J. J. Kvatsak and his wife and son, Bob, a Notre Dame student, are vacationing at Loughboro Lake, Battersea, Ontario. . . . LeRoy & Sharp, the ventriloquists, open at the Summit Hotel Saturday. . . .
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Prevue.
Tomorrow's attraction: The Big Ant War in Bailey avenue, Mt. Washington. Or, What Happened to the Bread Crumb?
